A Lenten Moment: When you already know you are worthless

Rev. Bethany Peerbolte     March 2, 2020

 
March 4, 2019

​The climate in Michigan during Lent sets a perfect atmosphere for somber reflection. There will be very few days of sun. The cold will bite at every inch of exposed skin and sink deep into one’s bones. The shadows of trees stretch out long on the snow-covered ground. It is as if a Hollywood director designed this exact scene for the feelings she wished to evoke for Lent.

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the season of Lent for the Church. During this time we are reminded that we were once only molecules of dust and dirt and will be only dirt and dust again someday soon. This weight is purposefully cast onto believers and will continue for the 40-ish days of the Lenten season. A time where Christians reflect on their sinfulness and mortality. The practice is meant to make Easter feel especially light when the miracle of resurrection is revealed.

For many, the weight of Lent is nothing new. We live every day dragging around thoughts of unworthiness and a sense of how crappy we are. We go to sleep most nights replaying every mistake and missed opportunity, begging ourselves to be better tomorrow. Only to hit the pillow the next night with the same dread and self-loathing. For us, Lent is not a quick trek down a dark path, it is a time when the path we walk every day is a little more crowded with downtrodden tourists.

This moment is for those who know the somber path of Lent too well. Use this as a tool whenever Lent gets to be too much, and you need a refreshing breath of renewal.

Lenten Moment Guide
Collect something small (like a stone, a coin, a bead, or a balled-up piece of paper)

Find a comfortable place to sit where you can relax and focus.

• Place your gathered item within reach
• If you are not in a silent space, or if silence is not comforting to you, click here for background sounds
• Find a position to be comfortable.
  • Shake out your arms, legs, neck, arch your back, wiggle your toes
  • Breathe in and out three large breaths as slowly as you feel comfortable.

Ask God to be with you

• Say a prayer inviting God to be with you. Ask God to sit somewhere specific (like in front or beside you) and imagine God physically sitting down with you.
  • You may use these words if you wish:
    • God of every moment, I would like you to be with me now in this moment. I am carrying a weight I do not know what to do with. It feels too important to set down, but I worry, I will not be able to carry it much longer. I need a moment with you. Sit beside me and guide me towards your truth. I pray this in the name of Jesus, AMEN.

Turn down your mind

• Take a minute to listen to what your mind brings up.
  • What are your: worries, joys, protests, hopes.
  • For the negative: acknowledge the protection worry provides, but affirm this will be a moment to open oneself to the risk of feeling confident.
  • For the positive: recognize what you naturally feel optimistic about and register those themes for later.

Read scripture

• Read it in NRSV (or a version you are most familiar with)
  • Matthew 11:28-30
  • (NRSV) Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
• Sit for at least a minute to consider what it is saying
• Read the scripture again from The Message (or a version you are not familiar with)
  • (MSG) “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
• Sit for at least a minute to consider what it is saying

Turn up God’s voice

• As you consider these scriptures you may have heard questions or doubts arise in your mind. Take time to think about them and listen to what God says in response.
• God’s voice vs. your voice: God’s voice is the one that says you are beloved. Cast out the negative and the doubt for this moment and live in a place where these words are exactly true. No ifs. No ands. No buts. Go back and read one of the versions of scripture with this commitment, that the words are fully true and fully about you.

Create an ebenezer

• An Ebenezer is an ancient practice of having a stone or rock of help. It acknowledges God’s assistance and reminds us of a moment spent with God.
• Hold your item in your hand and hold in your mind those thoughts of hope, the words that stood out in the scripture, and the feelings of peace and confidence you feel.
• Stay in the moment with God and a space filled with God’s love for you. Imagine all that is here with you now being anchored to the Ebenezer in your hand so that you can remember and call upon this moment later.

When you are ready

• Take three more breaths filling yourself with the love around you on the breath in, and casting out the dread and fear on the way out.
• Put the Ebenezer you created in a pocket or shelf where it can remind you of your worth, belovedness, and whatever else God gave you in this moment.

​This may have felt totally weird to you and that is perfectly okay. Any new spiritual practice will begin with some oddness. Your moment with God is whatever you want it to be, so adjust the plans above to fit your style. Maybe you want to light a candle, or play a song, or hold your pet, make it your own! As long as you are finding moments to be with God you will make it through this Lenten season.
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You are a beloved child of God. You have been dust and you will be dust again, but for now…..for now you have been breathed on with God’s full power. You bear the image of God and hold in every cell the potential of love. Let that potential flow because you are priceless to this world. We NEED you to be you to survive.